Weapon of Choice

Been out on the road for a while had to report into headquarters east. Higgins would be waiting for me, the corporation had made all my travel plans ahead of time so nothing else to do but land at JFK, depart then wander down to the subway, too clear and sunny for NYC in Jan. 60 degrees outside, weird omen like favorable seas at the start of the America's Cup yacht race. Nothing like a fast track, easy enough by my own will to drive through this weekend, whatever will amount from it, guidelines, Fri., Sat., and Sun., nightclubs, dance music, NFL playoffs, random Irish bars and an assortment of unique individuals only the island of Manhattan can provide. Already forwarded the proper arsenal for such a long, intense and often incomprehensible undertaking, a selection of various narco goods to channel the appropriate mindstate to fully experience a non stop 72 hr ride along NYC's fast track toward self indulgent dopamine bliss, by this point I wonder what my brain might have left in it, so much damage taken place throughout the year, fun year, kind, hardly, with a ton of blank memories inbetween.


Midtown up on street level, crowded Friday afternoon , the general masses making their way out of the town as the tourists mingle about Broadway caught up in the overwhelming presence of LED, neon, and tv technology projecting rapid fire advertising, have to admit I get a bit teary eyed everytime I roll back into town, something about Manhattan, things are so next level, people get me here and I love all cool people here too, they get it and if you don't get IT, explaining IT would require any reader of this to head back to the first blog post and catch up.

Skies are clear today, redish haze begins to set in, blue sky weekend, maybe, probably just an anomaly, sure it will rain tomorrow, but why worry about it, anywhere, anytime, is the new motto. Assignments like this one use to worry me, the long hours, lack of sleep, general disreguard for my personal health, it seems I have come to grips with unpredictable nature of what is soon to follow, the rapid transformation to drug induced degenerate who shall consume till I no longer have any recollection of what I'm doing or how I have become so disillusioned, left to only passout, wherever, the streets, jail or somewhere worse.


Luckily my internal beacon has guided me through many a muddled, grimy and unforgiving late evening/ early/ late afternoon, this weekend would be no different. Manhattan puts a smile on my face few other cities can, maybe it is the diversity of people, surrounding, and cultural offerings or rooted in this high end playground for adults where roaming through back alleys and unmarked avenues holds many new thoughts, revelations, and potentially something worth writing. Accomodations are decent, someone had already checked into my room, don't think it is Higgins, name on the room sounded unfamiliar. My package is down in the mailroom, had expected it right away, valuable cargo, fight for a better room since I do not seem to have one at the moment, they offer me a suite, much better, sort out the package in a bit, walkout to the market down the street grab a 12 pack of Stella beer, some food and fresh juices, early morning material, probably won't eat much, fresh carrot and orange juice, best thing for an empty stomach, vitamins, fruit, a few sandwhiches, nothing overly complicated, not prepared to cook, too much work. Head up to the room and the first thing I notice is a balcony outside with a vieww of the empire state building. Nice, setting sun, amber siene, burnt orange reddish hues, picture perfect Manhattan, lucked out.


Next have to find out where Higgins is located, see when he'll be arriving, find out he is already here holed up in the original room, I tell him to lose that place, this room is far better, balcony, immediately the couch goes outside, place to kick it, thoughts go through my head about jumping from the ledge as if some invisible force has planned to lift me from the ground and toss my body over the side. It is a feeling that takes some effort to subside; last will and testament of a balcony jumper, decide to go back inside instead, have a beer, set up the portable soundsystem, loud music, a must, on a corner room suite, no one really around us, probably for the best, never hear pleas from the neighbors, who the hell sleeps in NYC anyway, too much action, make plans to stay out late, bars, dinner, clubs, late night clubs, early morning bars, walk the city, get lost, lunch in Chinatown, East Village, or Hell's Kitchen but back to the beer.


Music on now, mellow club music, Higgins has been rerouted, call for more blankets, pillows, fresh sheets, towels, hangers, and trash bags, won't bother later, housekeeping is put in action. Higgins arrives with the party supplies, waste no time, line up a few, but remember we are meeting up with KGB agents later, formal type of stuff are usual cowboy behavior does not seem to keep the cold war rhetoric at bay, intellegence has been made aware of our methods of acquiring information, HQ is not too keen on such unusual methods of espionage, true enough, yet we produce results at the end of the day, HQ wants leads, answers, tangible directions, intelligence comes from varied means, some ugly, others obscene, all part of the job that is why HQ resides in D.C. or Prague, possibly even Shanghi, comfortable, pin stripe suits, fat expense accounts, I'm not really undercover, but have to be flexible enough with any situation, adapt, metamorphisize into the immediate environment, undetected, almost like furnishings or an exotic flower, a reason, a purpose, convincing portrayl of sub culture.


This is what I do, hopefully with enough sense at the end of it, all to get down the proper crux of data necessary to justify the project while appeasing the higher ups at HQ, not the easiest of tasks, but gets me out on the road, my local beat of Las Vegas can get old rather quickly, have to dig real deep to mine uncharted behavior, situations, and unique characters, it gets a bit tiring, nice to change up the scenery, this weekend NYC. Many trips here, has become sort of my new route of intelligence coverage, the fact HQ pays the bill always surprises me, an 800 dollar expense for animal crackers, duct tape and a fishing rod, what the hell do you need a wood chipper for? Well, that's classified, great excuse, HQ grumbles but never complains about the results, so I like to push the boundaries, 400 hundred dollars for a case of mini stuffed gorillas with suction cups, hand clappers, sarron wrap, fake blood, and the ocassional alligator skin billfold, designer sunglasses, as well as one or two stain glass pictures of the Virgin Mary.


KGB intelligence is stalling, Higgins chalks it up to cultural protocol, the Red Army thinks my motives and actions can be quite aggressive, sometimes there is no time to think, decisions must be made, committee sessions only slow down the final objectives, windows close without warning. No response, dead channel, so KGB intel will get what they get, however I arrive later tonight, incomprehensible as it shall turn out, no fault of mine, throw them off their game, get into there real sensitive information shared with few or none at all, this is the goal, undermine, find weakness then expose it, this medical trance is merely a channel to generate high levels of confusion to gain entrance to a core of information, genuine, pure, not easily given, real souls, real beings, true human nature, HQ demands it, no matter who gets mowed down in the end, this business is full of casualty, but when two can walk that fine line as double agents, open, vunerable, and symbiotic, who doesn't want that feeling to last forever.


This city moves at light speed, either catch up or stay home, right into fast track status, outline the details for tonight, plenty of bars, women, and possibly a rendevous with Soviet secret service, we never know the entire pciture, they fill in some of the blanks in exchange for participation in some of my off the book operations, strictly freelance shit, action of a thread, fiber of possibly pertinent information, a hunch, I take the risks to develop unrefined rumor into fact, gross, mortal and often hazardous, time has given me experience, wisdom, and a calm demeanor to handle such tasks, fear must be set aside, burning flames, evil beings, the avalanche of mis-information, surrounding the framework of each operation, my job to remain focused on the framework, while sifting through the mire to pull out vauable commodity, deferentiating between artifact and falsehood is how I get paid.