20 More Minutes of Sleep

After 3 hectic weeks on the road from country to country, took most of my notes in the mini scratch pad, ideas, threads, and analysis from all the things orbiting around this life.

This was my decision to grab some extra sleep even though I would have to step up the already hetic pace of getting to the airport without taking measures to reset all of my belongings in one nice neat compact design, been up late to write, doing some intel on the urban lifestyle with a few friends as they pass the time getting high and musing about the upcoming weekend of the college basketball tournament, of course these folks presist in getting me to join in their pharma-weed fiesta but had to kick my old habits in order not to feel so edgy, desperate and suicidal, last of all is sleep, have had trouble with it for a couple decades now maybe living in Vegas contributes to this, my job as well, former lifestyle definitely, so now I have a beer or two, is this called slowing down? Who knows, all I know is I can't go on burning both ends and expect to remain rational, relevant, or conscious on any sort of tangible level which may work to the likes of William S Burroughs, Salivador Dali, and Samuel Beckett, but not for me anymore which leads me to this morning, just got off an airplane 3 days ago, right to another job, straight from the plane with the clothes I was wearing to fry my brain on the future of the Web with such people as Larry King Aston Kucher, and James Cameron. There was an entire cabal of tech heavies attempting to explain the end user purpose of the Web 2.0, empowering the people, the global village, right down to the village idiot, who shall all have a voice in this new frontier, a position, a slice of digital life, 40 Terabytes and Quad Core CPU. All the guest speakers were very convincing in the aspect of Morrison's "We want the world and we want it now." this idea could not be anymore accurate in this moment. Information mining is the new cool from Facebook to Twitter and every uber-tech application or game like website, likes and dislikes are being harvested on a scale unseen in any time, an advertisers wet dream, part digital, part human emotion, an algorithim that hones in on the consumeristic pulse of the global customer. Thought Microsoft, Google, or Apple was big, wait till some teenage genius develops software to mine, interpet, and deliver real time data on a global purchasing habits, preferences and desires, like catching fish in a barrel, all too easy, this is not to far off, it has been forseen, therefore should be respected and adhered, and for the savvy few, capitalized upon.

I won't lie, I will be one of those few, the easy money is out there, so why fight it, get on board, before the train leaves the station. What this all has to do with sleep deprivation, nothing but conscious choice to either labor for a dollar or get someone else to do it for me, that's the difference, so extra 20 minutes equals running out the door thinking I will check my bag in at the airport, but already checked in online claiming zero bags, have to pay for bags now, irony soon to follow, have to throw everything in a suitcase including various things I will eventually have to toss in the trash, out the door, no breakfast, glance at an envelope I've been trying to mail for a week, change of address form, new place, no mail, no time to check mail either.

I need an assistant, or just plain assistance, rehabilation, the full main course, push that thought to the side, now on the clock, late check for bags starts in 20 min, still across town, long term parking, run to the shuttle, forget to dump all my work things that won't pass security, utility knife, nail clippers, colonge, and various metallic gear, think about checking bag, power walk to airline check in, damn parking lot of pissed off people, looking lethargic as the clerks behind the counter who do not appear to be in any hurry to get these passengers on their way. Resigned to the slow progression of serivce I immidiately find a trash can then dump what is needed to pass security, then power walk back to the terminal gate entrance, line moving, good, 40 min till flight leaves. Security nice enough, more than usual at least this guy talks and does not give you that SS brigade like stare of judgemental quiet after sizing you up while pretending to maintain some sense of civility without reporting me like some member of Orwell's The Spies or Junior Anti Sex League, use to the once over, cause I look like the face of the enemy, so be it. Now throw everything onto the conveyor belt, strip down, no metal, no battled war, no sense of direction, everyone looks a little pissed off this morning, convention crowd, nursing hangover, no cure, four days of irrational behavior mixed with gambling losses, over intoxication, and the shakes, all this has the amatuer partiers on edge, going over scenarios in the their heads of how these,mostly, men will explain all those 300 dollar ATM charges, company dinners?, sure sounds like a real good excues, the wife will fall for it no problem. I can see a few guys in this frame of mind processing multiple storylines, sorting out which one will be the most effective in explaing that 2000 dollar hole in the bank account, I have done it, but I maintain my own business account, sans anyone else's name on the account, only answer to yourself and when you can't do that, immediately stop your behavior or push it until the authorities wrangle you in for a long stint in federal prison, it's all about choice, the indecisive people are those full of fury and regret, don't be one of those types.

Embrace success and failure equally, it will serve you well, off the soap box too preachy, back in line as the starter's pistol cracks out into the lobby as the next tram to the terminal gate arrives, scores of weary travelers initate a stampede of carry on luggage, shoes, and any unsecured handbags mowing down the elderly, handicap, and small children, nothing can crest this deseperate tide of people who can't leave Vegas fast enough as if some dark long invisible arm was slowly catching up them, reeling them in like bait for some larger unseen catch, dangle that savings, retirement, college fund, right over the fire, burns right up, what guy can't get into loose, fast, and readily available debauchary. It's standard operating procedure for subconscious minds that are looking to run the ship aground for no apparent reason, instinct, predestination, and a general will to experience the extreme where it shall wait open armed receiving wealth like a fortunate charity or a never satisfied high maintenance lover, just keep feeding the furnance, fan the flames, enjoy the moment, those soft, suppple, youthful female escorts deliver forget the cost, dream big, pretend for a day or two, rock star status is your domain, like an old pair of comfortable shoes, sex, drugs, and rock and roll is in my DNA, have never known life without it, pay the price, accept the sleepless weeks, overdose near death like paralysis slowly overtaking your hands, limbs, then heart, that's death buddy, paying a visit, nothing more than an introduction or tease, cause once your dead, well, what really matters, so teetering on the edge, clarity reigns supreme and if you walk the edge long enough, you will either develop the clairvoyance of a saint or the passionate rage of the insane.

Uncaring attitueds, business in motion, get on with your work or get out of the way as the turbulance of commerce proceeds, thinking about where I will stash the carry on bag in the plane, seat is in the tail end, so usually I am the first to board, but not today as I dash out the escalators where others who barely manage their time, while condensing, the handles of the roller bags in mechanical precision of a military unit or a well rehearsed symphony as they start the crazy climber workout routine up the escalator eventually stepping off toward some distant gate with the intention of catching up on some well needed sleep as the flames of hell rapidly close in on their heels looking to finish off the job the Las Vegas Strip set the stage for, nothing for me to run from, only to, a line of passengers already awaiting to board nearly out to the terminal guess I will have to place the roller bag where ever, deal with it later, but no such luck, the plane is out of space, have to check my bag in now, insert irony after having to ditch 60 bucks in equipment, still have to head to baggage claim, at least they did not charge me for the priviledge. Time to make my way down the aisle where a man casually takes his time holding the rest of the passengers while putting his belongings in the upper cabin as if sending his first born off to college, so meticulous and teary eyed, a parent some what relucant to move on to the empty nest stage, clinging to his jacket, folding it like a veteran burial flag, the stewardess chimes in as the couple already seated in his row rue his presence, a culmination of first class prejudice due to the fact that the husband and wife team wanted an aisle and window combo, leaving the middle seat available, now they would have to look over this guy who might have been European, tough to tell, either way he had already gotten the goat of these WASPS who in their collective beady eyed mannerism had Euro guy pegged as some high level dissenter against the moral fabric of everything the United States stood for, Benedict Arnold, Lefty Rosenthal, and Saddam Hussien all rolled into one, sleeping with the enemy they call it, at least for the next 4+ hours on this flight, well the Euro guy finally moved aside with enough room to get seated before being told to put away my remaining belongings, we are already late, the stewardess chimed in and that's what 20 extra minutes of sleep will buy you.