How I Killed Thanksgiving

Sullen air and misery surrounded the living room; a funeral was being held today to commemorate the institution known as Thanksgiving. There are just two of us now with the rest of the family either dead or too far away to care, engulfed in their own series of personal tragedies which I only tend to hear about via contemporary social media. I personally have not cared about this holiday ever since the break up of the annual family gathering that consisted of a series of drunken discussions, then arguements, and finally relatives flying out through any door of their choosing usually head first. Once everyone got so pissed at each to the point no one cared to bothering travelling anymore, I was left to be marooned with the small cluster of relatives left on the west coast, too bad none of them liked each other anymore. Long gone now are those days of arguements amidst cousins that carry on for hours over the most minute of words spoken amongst each other, led with the traditional assaults of stupid, retard, you have no idea what you are talking about, you are just acting out, and last but not least, I'm going tell on you, then the punching ensued .

The teenagers during this time used their new found school time intellect to confuse the younger sibilings, as the small ones ended up stomping off with mother's purse and cigarettes which always brought on spontaneous spankings from various aunts, no one could catch me, so if it meant staying out all night till my mom left or if she just dumped me off at my grandparents resulted in sleeping in the back of a car or crashing on a friends couch down the street. The holidays only made me tired, close a bedroom door and sleep all day, easiest way not to face all the insanity, babbling drunks with half mashed menthols in their mouths, greasy burboun lips, ash burnt nylon polyester shirts. Drinks spilled as the dogs cleaned up the mess, very few ever escaped the celebration sober, people of such inclination hardly ever made it through the door and if they hung around were made to feel so uncomfortable and periodically attack as a signal to any square who attempted to sanitized my family holiday parties. Part local bar, part tribal beat down. I can remember my realtives telling me how much of an asshole I was as a kid, a wild heathen who did not listen to anyone, they would gang up on my mom over it, but this only encouraged her to give me more freedom, luckily I was smart enought to employ my talents to their full potential.

There was not much of a learning curve on how to get over on the relatives, all of them had little schooling, blue collar, and maintain a thirst as well as lust for anything subversive and decadent, therefore my educational passion as a youth came under siege with such great confidence boosters as Beaner Kid, Bastard Asshole, just like your grandfather. Well whoever I happened to be like, my appreciation of laughing at my family's expense outlasted their ability to keep the show going, just like so many great acts over the centuries; the focus, commitment, and will power to deliver the next great hit overwhelmed this particular comedy troop, so now my mother and myself have be left to laugh over Seinfeld and That 70's Show reruns.

I miss the madness of alcohol fueled battles and that were just the kids, the adults did not bother with toning anything down, the partying began days before the actual holiday. A virtual 70's era flophouse, a legion of aunt and uncles all passed out around the place, of course my grandmother leading the parade with a smoke, a whiskey on the rocks, and foul mouth cuss shit storm to put anyone in listening distance in a state of constant of fear and laughter. The great thing about my transient vagabond so called relatives crashing at my grandparents house was that it gave me and my cousins plenty of time to rummage through their pockets and purses for cash we could spend down at the neighborhood market or just keep the money they gave us to buy cigarettes for them cause everyone was too drunk to move by 2p in the afternoon.

Just left to formalities now of the afternoon meal today, how is the food, want something else to eat, you have to try this I spent 8 hours pulling it together, all of which I can quickly throw off with a yawn in a fit of exhuastion from work. The rest of the time is filled with football games and comedy reruns, can only really just fall asleep for periods in order to duck out on any meaningful interaction as if this late in the relationship between my mother and myself was possible, not that it matters, just the conventional ritual of Thanksgiving has never retain much traction, rather be in some bar or beach in a tropical country far away from the consessions of this holiday that make me feel so hypocritical and conformist. So the easiest thing to do is get on another plane and get back to work, cause Christmas is not far away.

Tues Afternoon

Everyone must have the fn day off, a short reprieve of temperate weather has brought the masses out for one more go around of holiday cheer, black fridays, and aggressive panhandling before the usual high desert chills come back around sending the hoards scrambling back to their televisions and weekly cold water pads. Pretty pissed at everyone right now, just in a general state of being ran into the ground for no other reason than shooting up a pipe dream of accomplishing some future goal that is as transparent as the evening sky in a remote outland mountain pass. Either way, the Mexican women inside the laundry mat are being extra nice to me as they try to figure out how to place well worn dollar bills into the change machine. It's a talent I have cultivated over the years from video game arcades to old school gambling halls. The lady's understand this new revelation and use this new found skill to keep their already smiling attitudes well intact. Not me though, can't take being nice to anyone right now, have had too many months of bullshit lying, grins, and half hearted sincerity. Those who know me, understand to forego all the thank you's and praise, what do I care, just give me dinero in which I can buy people, services, or some narcotics to melt my brain into forgetting all the time being wasted conducting such false activity.

Multitasking, trying to get paperwork, technical surveys, and soft core porn spam all addressed and sent out to the proper authorities. Rushing around like a bat on speed and acid, no real direction, a lady tosses all of her clothes out of the way, in aggressive mode, mumbling to myself and anyone else who will listen to the complexity of my daily life, moving past the basics of food, water, and shelter have only led to an intricate web of personal carnal desires that have become the base for my existence and to pay for them has led me into a few alleys that must constantly be maintained, nothing more than a junkie, a slave, and drone so I can fry my nervous system, much easier than holding it in, being amongst the public does not solve this problem, really only makes it worse, still there are a few out there for whom I shall deal with the general public with my fingers holding me nose, great material once and a while. Otherwise, have to get the hell out of this laundry mat, the woman in charge during the day keeps making eyes at me, tired of the traps, the mistakes of others which I have been handed responsibility of, its so much weight that occasionally fatigue gets the best of me. Well, off to the Rebel basketball game and a standard of allures to convince others that the gun barrel has been dropped back down to the side of my leg, we'll see, later.

7 Billion

Filling up the streets, freeways, and cyberspace, I can remember the projected population reports of high school social studies classes that offered up a relative time line for a time when planet earth would earth 7 Billion inhabitants 2015 might have been the date, possibly 2013, but here is 2011 and let's have a round of applause for the human carnal desire . The bodies just keep piling up, there is not enough plague, war, violence, disease, and natural disasters to stem the tide of the global reproductive frenzy taking place all around us. As long as sex and an hereditary inclination to have mini replicas of ourselves exist; there shall always be room to give birth to someone who will fix romantic relationships, as well as social, economic, and personal psychological issues of the human race. But what the hell are we as adults, elders, and mentors truly offering the children of tomorrow. So many of them already walk the streets muted by the technological gifts borne from the collective need to find distraction instead of purposeful intention. We adult/children have lost the mettle which set our elders apart from us in eras past. Throughout the past decade I have seen so many nations, rich and poor bursting at the seams with humans all vying for the same limited resources or just for the opportunity to buy an XBox, IPod, or satellite television.

How much further can this population trend go without seeking alternative planets for living, where those who can afford the adventurous transplantation get away from the sprawling masses that sicken of existing on one bowl of rice a day. Or will this planet simply swallow up the entire human race discarding our existence like the ancient animal fossil scattered throughout the world. Of course, the most convenient answer is, "Well, I'll be dead before anything gets too weird." I remember my grandparents telling me that exact thing. They were so overly concerned about how the US was heading down the shitter, but why bother changing things. " I went through WWII and the Great Depression." so it was as if they felt as a generation; they had a pass to stick their collective heads in the sand and bequeath the misery onto the future. Well, the future is here and there does not seem to be anyone out there overly concerned with where society and the human race could be headed in the next hundred years. Technology is no savior, I see more facebook users than anything clogging up the internet, just more virtual drugs to bury the pain of existence, the chain of the digital human race has made the 7 Billion a campground where people hang in cliques and screen out the others with the checkmark of a few boxes. Regardless, people will continue to fuck, have children as an answer to their problems, then set them adrift at the earliest convenience, as the cycle keeps repeating until we have nothing left to consume but each other, Yum!