La Junkie Nikita

Once and a while I get swept up inside the fantasies of my mind taking short cuts to getting what is need from an attractive female. Most of the hot ones have a taste for narcotics, the tastes are varied of course with the exception of cocaine, in general many of the ladies have a sweet spot for blow. Met a woman a while back who due to my constant nature of being wasted for the previous couple of years made myself an easy target for the predator nature of this lady who had live the last decade or so leeching off old men with sex thrown in the deal. She freely admitted her prostitute like nature which interpeted in my drug soaked mind that screwing this woman would be nothing more than a forgone conclusion. This would not be the case, everything started off alright, the prelimary kiss and body contact, but then she would take off, after the first couple of times I would just get more wasted until her presence no longer existed, yet she would manipulate more drugs out me, what did I care, it was nothing that had cost me money, tribute, gifts, that kind of thing, either way the time has arrived to pull the carrot from the donkey cause it seems like my life has turned into the donkey and this role reversal will not do at all.

Nikita will text or call only when is feels the dope will not materialize, finally had to tell her she was cut off, at first out came the offers to hang with me for the summer in Vegas, as well as a few other intimations about getting together that she needed something different in her life than her current situation which was sucking the dick of some fat greaseball from northern Jersey, Nikita does not have anything else, no real possessions, no soul, just a strong will to survive and she uses that in very interaction with every human being she comes in contact with. Granted it is rather fun to watch her go through the motions of being around me when I hit town, Nikita is a friend of a friend, so he is sort of to blame by linking me up with her, but this friend did not mind getting on the drug train either so there were benefits for the entire lot of them when Miller came to town, Capt party, unlimited fun, up all night, up all day, train kept a rollin. Nikita was nothing more than a piece of fine ass to parade in front of all the other losers in the city who always shook their heads in collective disbelief that this woman would want to have anything to do with me. They were right, I was merely renting the space, secured with a good amount of hallucingenic substances, so the trade off was in effect. Fine, did not matter, nothing but entertainment at watching the Wall Street types in midtown Manhatten lose that self esteem while wasting their lives in school and at the exchange to really only end up doing the same thing I was doing at the time, which consisted of using drugs instead of money to achieve an objective, did not get laid though, not even close, passing on a fine assortment of attractive New York woman who had more brains, looks, and future than Nikita who has been spinning her wheels in school for the past five years, I am as much to blame for letting the lie continue Nikita only played along to serve her own needs which can't totally be faulted.

My next visit to NYC should be interesting as she is still under the impression her dope binge will not be interrupted, yet since I have quit doing all that shit, there will be nothing to offer, can't wait to see that junkie start to cringe, then beg for a hit of psychedelic dream, it will be a laugh and finally a real opportunity to move past the nightmare of Nikita as well as the tunnel my diseased brain had been in for the past couple of years, away from the void, the spiral, heading toward an abyss with no bottom until darkness consumes me one last time refusing to let go.