All That You Can' t Leave Behind

Grocery shopping has taken on a new persona as of late. Long gone are the days where just freely buying anything to eat that crossed my mind, today this habit has been replaced with a more minimal approach in my dining choices. The body weeps on the inside after recently discarding its gluttonous ways. All I can do now is think about the decades of cruising down the beer aisle sizing up the various new microbrews as they arrived over the years, throwing a couple six packs in the cart, not that my desire to have a beer once and a while has been detered, not much chance of that happening, but a self imposed barrier has my brain fighting the well crafted cravings that use to rule my life and ultimately resulted in a string of bad decisions that have and still do cost me money, luckily prison did not entered the equation, yet there were days waking up after the carnage I would wonder how a stint in the joint had been avoided. Damn chesse aisle, fifty feet of great tasting cheese, it has been almost six months since I have had a slice of cheese, ever since leaving my old place, no more Top Ramen, cereal, or milk. Life has turned into a slow erosion of eating less crap, dropping some weight, and working out, not exactly the funnest thing to undertake.

Getting up early in the morning to workout before heading off to the job, then again at night, shows some commitment on my part, yet grinding it out day after day can be taxing, this regimen has become an anchor at times, motivator at others. Still cruising through the grocery store today, I start to look at all the shit people eat, the soft drinks, the potato chips, the avenues of poultry, steaks, and fish, it is amazing how many things are available in the store, large storage bins of loose candy, a delicatsan where anonymous people sit in nuetral colored tables slowly falling into obscurity, possibly passing the time on a lunch break waiting to head back off to the job. Let's see what is in the grocery cart at the moment, 2 large bottles of water, 10 grapefruit, 2 bags of vegetables, and some Tofu, not much. There is the juice aisle, the dairy section, the snack bars, all this stuff that is supposed to be good for you, but why do people need so much of everything, whether it is good for you or not. Is this a ploy to keep the ecomony running by throwing more than I need into this grocery cart in order to keep the few people still left in this grocery store employed, so why did they add the self checkout machines. Personally, the self checkout machines are great, no talking, no forced conversation, and no victimization by clerks who act out their life's problems on me in the small time we are together, that shit always pisses me off, running the things over the scanner like a dagger in fresh kill, again and again, as if my purchases were the last straw in a job that has only become a burden, forget all their choices, the kids, and debts, no nothing but sighs or worse attempting to tell their problems, I don't want to here them, just tell me the cost, bag the shit or let me, then later.

Looking at the other customers, some are focused, right to the liqour section, grab the essential elements, then head toward the processed snack cakes, topped off with a finale consisting of a couple of cartons of smokes, right down to the point, no frills, get what is needed then split. Then there is the family who has to decide between the Bud Light or super pack of chicken hot dogs, throw in some ramen noodles, and a few 2 liter bottles of carbonated soda, the era of doing without is upon us, everywhere I look, humans exist in various stages of realizing the concept of sacrifice, the businesses, government, and casinos want everyone to disregard this reality, tune it out, turn back to the dream of unlimited indulgence, payment is off in the future, well the future is here now, as those chains get heavier, options dwindle until there is nothing left but waking up for work, if you are lucky enough to still have a job, if not, fire up a joint, turn on the television and be thankful the playoffs, baseball, and the World Cup are on tv.