Beta Crocker

I met Beta Crocker out one night, there was a slight connection in the kind of music we liked, not really but that has morre to do with my never ending disgust with music, art, and people in general. Her tastes were not unlike most people with regular jobs who lead regular lives that include getting up at 6am, putting on some sort of business suit, and holding down a position in some multinational corporation where you work amongst thousands of other people who are nothing more than links in a chain to your success of failure, the tragedy is that they are directly linked to your success or failure, most of these people could barely hold it together at work, looking for nothing more than a place to pass the time where they could make enough money to rent a movie, go out to dinner, and subscribe to a life of eternal debt with no relief in sight. I tend not to be able to relate with these kind of people who watch the latest releases from the big screen, sing along to the lastest in alternative cool music, and generally like everything I have long sinced moved beyond. Beta Crocker likes to think of herself as hip, progressive, feminine, and silently controlling. I first found this out after I slept with her the first night, getting drunk helps me get past the idea of have sex with a woman who is not molded into my narrow minded teenage, hot model of twenty, those kind of women are reserved for punk ass rich kids, pretty boys, and old men with a lot of money, I did not fit into any of those catagories, so my passage has been booked to Beta Crockers house, she gave me the lowdown on how her last relationship was with some married man who was going to leave his wife for her, but never did, sort of strung her out for sex, which is very normal for relationships in today's society. At this point, I did not care, taking in all the scene, information was my goal, experience this typical situation in 21st century society. There was no real doubt tonight would end in sex, as if it has any real meaning besides setting off nueral receptors in the brain, like drugs, for those actually in love, passion, desire, and all those other things they overhype in movies might still be reserved for the youth of tomorrow. I would never know; those instincts in myself have long since eradicated, caught somewhere between personal pleasure seeking while living amongst a people so disconnected from their hearts, their minds, and souls, real emotion seems like a myth; I really can't believe anyone truly understands love, misinterpeting it into a possession, this is why the bodies of broken relationships pile up in the streets of America, no one can stand to be decieved, humiliated, and crushed when our own arrogance takes over all judgement, self valuation leads to bullets in the heads of grounded hearts, pools of blood in low rent apartment buildings, and handfuls of pharmasudical pills choked down with tears of anguish.

A tough story indeed, everyone goes through the pains of relationships, so here was Beta Crocker giving me the latest lowdown, I did not really even process it for if nothing else to get it down here, half of me wanted to bail the whole scene, there is something about crossing that sexual line where people feel entitled to move into your personal space, to some degree involved their own ideas, needs, and future plans into mine. Beta took very little time in doing this after our first encounter, of course satisfying their sexual needs never hurts, like a junkie, they want another fix and my own personal space be damned, I had already erased her phone number, granted she could hold her own in the bed, yet everything else just did not make sense. I did not mold well with general public tastes, watching movie rentals or hanging out drinking beers; these were nothing but prelude to her getting sex, myself as well and after the first time I thought forget it, no more, this is not worth the general disgust I feel toward myself in hitting this woman, but the second time she drank down my cum and it was not too bad, even more remote this time, like automatons seeking personal satisfaction, keep the talk, the feelings, and moment to spare parts. Luckily, I work a lot which helps me put others at a distance when convenient, after giving her the brush off, a month or so passed and I get another text from her, seeing if I wanted to go out. Her aggressive behavior was taking precendence once more, this is where the name Beta Crocker had been given light.

Beta had recently moved in with a bunch of roomates and of course the types like Beta always like to have guys around if nothing else for a feeling of security, secondly for the fact most woman don't not get along with her type of dominating behavior, if to make up for the lack of socially acceptable physical beauty an area they continously refuse to adhere to and would rather not deal with that issue at all, so they seek out the male Beta type. There are Alpha males, guys who are aggressive, physically attractive, like to run the show, take control, and call the shots, Beta Crocker told me these are the kind of guys she likes, as we sat at a bar and watched this semi attractive woman, give this Beta male a bit of good night hug as to say, according to Beta Crocker that it is nice to tease you with my looks but you will never get any of this pussy. I almost fell out of my seat when Beta said this, she told me when she worked at restuarant like this place that the Beta tease, Alpha please was the usual M.O. by herself and women at the bar. Sure, Beta, is about 5'8'' 170, not sure where she got her attitude of attractiveness but I was laughing on the inside for sure, maybe word got around that she gave decent head, either way, from my point of view my presence here was nothing but a mercy kill, giving her something no other guy in my league would not do without the assistance of alcohol, drugs, or both.

For some reason Beta Crocker like to eat up Beta males, there was a picture with her nickname and a machine that looked like what they put the sandwhiches in at Quiznos, except it was the head of a guy. The humor never ends, the two concepts did not make sens, her bending to the will of Alpha males did not jive with her dominate behavior of dining on Beta males or it could be that she was not socially desirable by Alpha males and like most people in life, rather than conform decided to infect her subordinates with elaborate plans of control. Beta Crocker is under the impression of something, enough to text me somemore, luckily I live in a gate community which is wonders for keeping the loonies at bay. I let her over to my house once, sort of began picking up a mess of clothes, then went into the living room to play some music, when I returned the bed was made, clothes picked up, and my work clothes placed in my backpack, that was it, I had no desire to audition a maid, then told her it was time to go, some people just go off on tanget that only make sense them, sort of like my writing, but this action was a prelude to offering her services in other areas such a decorating, involving herself in my personal life, and how I lived my life, no more, don't respond to the text, but they still arrive, another damn lost child in the ocean of absurdity. She has served enough of a purpose for me, to tell you her story which is the story for so many people in Las Vegas, looking to take another rung in the ladder at the expense of the misery of others, people like Beta Crocker have long since moved beyond feeling, they are single cell viruses seeking their own personal pleasure, perservation, and agenda, tasting refinement when possible, but fast food dining inbetween, it is all about take, take, take, a slogan Las Vegas has long since perfected.