Taking Care of Business

It seems that my work and social life have started to bleed into my cognitive desire to post on a daily basis. Another new shock awaiting my already oxygen starved brain slowly pushes me into a realm of potential depression and today would be no diferent as I raced through the backstreets of Las Vegas to once again immerse myself in the entanglement of working within convention business culture. As the Las Vegas Marathon took place just outside the Venetian hotel on the Strip, I could have sworn that they must have detoured the entire pack of runners through the convention halls of the Sands Expo Center, a multipurpose sort of meeting place for annual business gatherings. With no more than a few hours of sleep under my belt, the rising tide of human traffic begins to swell, thousands of people mashing against each other in a Manhattan midtown afternoon pace. I guess the economy has started to rebound for this is the first convention call I have recieved in six months. There is sort of a trade off with this type of work in comparison to the regular broadcast and various other things related to it for a living. What I get to see hear is a culture of people with whom I feel completely disconnected from, if not for the fact I work for myself, not behind some desk, for some corporation, with certain social cultural traits, these are the people who went to college with a goal, who continually set goals, probably don't do much recreational substance abuse, desire to live somewhat contemporary socially accepted life. Guess the convention deals with pharmaceutical products, something I have a fair bit of experience with a different context, however I no longer have the curtain of Oz like proportions that offers me a buffer between the general public during my other work in broadcast production. This form of corporate work entails a fair amount of interaction with the clients themselves who sort of see me and other technical oriented workers as their digital saviours and for the prices these businesses or groups are charged they have a merited point, but unfortunately the profession of audio visual media does not attract those with a great breath of social skills, in fact conflicts can arise quite readily when a technican is dropped into a situation where the bridge between patience and explaining to the guest speaker that he or she has done something to delete their presentation, when infact the technician actually or accidentally deleted the presentation, will set off the most surly and salty old school techs into near blows where the tech bolts out of the room and does not come back. I have witnessed it first hand. There is a real sort of magician's like behavior required as well a large dose of con artist, buying into the whole business meeting in the first place always has the client giddy, the team mentality, which means showing up with clean clothes, washed, combed, and a presentation that does not stray too far from the overall appearance Blockbuster Video salesperson. This homogenized, vanilla state of mind drives me crazy. It is a lie I have trouble complying with if just for the fact that this mind state is how these attendees live, I don't, but the humor of being amongst them like a spy, this party crasher who must be heavily sedated in order not to bust up laughing or run out on a meeting out of pure fear for the insanity he is being exposed to at that moment.

Most convention presenters or others affliated with the media process do not think very much of the technician, we are these guys who at their best remain invisible and fly in superhero like presence in order to solve techinical problems within seconds, though some crowds really try to suck me into the process, the ol round of applause for the guy sitting in corner in the black shirt and pants taking care of our audio visual needs, by that time I have already numbed myself to exposure, all the smiling faces with their morning cups of coffee, excited about the prospect of making the other people buy into advance persuasion tactics in consumerism, the straggling hungover attendee who tip toes to the back of the room sitting in the empty chair next to me who falls asleep within ten minute, casually snoring while everyone turns to me as the culprit, while completely ignore the fact the person is even near me, fixing a hypnotized like facade as the speaker, coughs then returns to the powerpoint slides on the screen.

Today at lunch, the entire lunch pavillion at the Venetian had been overrun by conventioneers gathered in small regional packs from whatever part of the country or world they happen to reside, just like high school, but a high school of advance placement teenagers who really believe in study, hard work, and following the rules will lead to success, as I stand in line with my Metallica shirt on, I am a damn 40 year old teenager, who cannot stand conformity, but here I am anyway neck deep in a sea of it, if for nothing else to finally get some this event down on virtual paper. My mood is fairly dark for a lack of sleep and the fact that no matter what type of corporate event my actual role in all this tends to lag in any sort of concrete definition. Usually, I end up walking right into an audio visual mindfield, fill with co-workers who are only there to get a check, no desire and all the ability to remain invisible for an entire workday leaving me with an overloaded share of responsibility I do not necessarily want, which always causes a lot of friction within my mind because I hate to have my reputation as a ass kicker put in jeopardy when a work situation disaster starts to form on the horizon, no matter how pissed off I get, the job gets done, no matter how violated my ego feels or my integrity, this film, filth of how business is really done in this world covers my skin like a living organism unwilling to leave its host.

All my decisions in life have led me to this moment on this day, where I will eat shit and accept it because, no one else will pay me today or as a favor for some friend in the business, yet sometimes as a reminder of what waits for me if I ever slacken my current direction with my regular gigs. These techs make good money and some of them great money when the economy had more steam, so it is not like I could not make a living in this field, but the phony cheerleading garbage of pep rallying a company to sacrifice and outperform like some high school play really makes my mind take offense to the entire establishment of annual business meetings in the first place. Still, I will go into work tomorrow at 4am, making about half of what I usually make in a normal work day, maintaining a small amount of bitterness, yet put on my best face, get down to work and contribute no matter how goofy and utterly ridiculous the speaker sessions and my co-workers turn out. There will be moments of a slow dissolve sitting behind audio mix console waiting for presenters to speak, trapped like an animal acknowledging its own death, going limp, with anymore resistance, reduced to corporate cheddar to be spread upon their economic plans for the upcoming year, but my new outlet shall be my redemption, it already is with this piece. Off I go to huddle all the sheep together for the speech to end all speeches, which will motivate, uplift, and transform all in the matter of two hours, with all the passion and madness of someone with rabies and meth addiction, this is something I have to witness.