Dee Snider's Twisted Christmas

Been hired to document the lastest Christmas time sensation of the holiday season, Twisted Sister's Twisted Christmas Spectacular. A heavy metal redention of the those ol yule tide classics one might here Andy Williams or Diane Shore sing if you are old enough to recall who those two people are, either way just think of those damn type of music songs played throughout the next week while at work, shopping, or in an elevator and the gist of the Twisted Sister songlist for the show is near complete. Not to leave out the real hardcore fans, the band throws in some of their classic tunes for if nothing else to keep the interest of the crowd from waning too much as Dee Snider kicks into his rendetion of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, not sure I even know the lyrics to the song, nonetheless the overall experience of watching some guy in his mid fifties running around in the same New York Dolls/Kiss like spandex pants does warrant an audience, even in the 21 century, nostalgia does not discriminate as the long a crowd of people are willing spend their money, and so the comebacks continue.

My first experience of seeing Dee Snider outside of being constantlybeing plastered on MTV during their Stay Hungry album due to a series of catchy anti establishment rock songs that almost felt difficult to take seriously, because here were these five guys all dressed up like low rent versions of popular glam rock bands of time, as the band themselves got together in this mockery like fashion to illustrate how ridiculous the current crop of long haired pretty boys were. A collective lot who needed to be taken out back and shot like the fluffheaded idiots, the videos, the interviews, and photo shots made them out be. Thoughts of Every Rose Has Its Thorn comes to mind I should seriously consider a lobotomy why does that particular melody haunt me like some Christmas ghost from the past, looming, desiring to channel an entire lifetime of mistakes, errors, and regrets to weigh me down in loathing like some vicious animal in chains requiring immediate sedation. Still have not got to the point while heading off into the cavern of arena rock during the eighties and how it inspired a generation of teenagers like myself to grow out my hair, dress in tight jeans, and then start experimenting with drugs and sex.

The last two I am perfectly comfortable with, even today, pretty much the cornerstone of my existence and possible downfall in my last two relationships, even so Twisted Sister had that punk defience from the Seventies mashed together with the ever blossoming sarcastic mantra of the 80's Regean era, where if you were not, making big bucks, smoking rock cocaine with hookers, and did not have a hidden bank account in the Carribean, you were not trying, so that meant pretty much everyone in the states back then, quite a potential audience for this band to cultivate. Now to the point, the first time I really gave a second thought about Dee Snider was when he had the balls to stand up in court against the Parents Music Resource Coallition and for those too young to remember, this group is basically the reason why every CD, for those who even bother to buy them anymore, has the parental advisory lyrics on the cover, there was actually a time children when Ozzy albums, NWA, and even Slayer albums did not contain such guideful information in regards to protecting the youth of America from listening to Ozzy's Suicide Solution eight thousand times in a row then jumping off a bridge, or going to school with a machine gun, or possibly even putting a pipe bomb in the toilet during gym class, all these were considered light social events before the era of the clampdown, before homeland security, before 9/11, where throwing M-80's into freeway traffic was considered juvenille behavior, nowadays they'll find you a nice quiet space somewhere on the outskirts of Cuba where they will paint you as some sort grand anti-christian terrorist who loves Lenin, prays to Che, and seeks to see the skyline of Manhattan filled with minirets.

Even today, I have a profound respect for Dee Snider with his stance against the PRMC, ran by of all people Tipper Gore, the wife of Al Gore, that golem like beast who invented the internet, man bear pig, and various other sorts of energy saving ideas. Have to say this idea of censorship has had far more reaching results than anything else, number one, if only to drive sales of every piece of music that was fortunate enough to be tagged by the PRMC as profound, violent, sexual, racial, thought provoking, and blantently honest about the government, its citizens, and this facade called society. Total mockery of the powers that be, always went straight to the top, a group of middle age upper class twats with no connection whatsoever with the lives of the average urban, rural, or suburban teenagers, the main source of income for the music industry at the time, became the artistry rubber stamp of approval for music, not that it mattered, Bodycount's Cop Killer, NWA's Fuck The Police, to Nirvana's Rape Me all rung the bells of anti-establishment approval with the PRMC, amongst a hundred others I have already forgotten in my drug soaked, under slept, over sensitized, and relationship ruined brain.

The thing that bugged me the most during this time was how so many of the artist's facing the PRMC label did nothing, said nothing, and sort of just went along with the entire program which I interpeted at the time as them being a bunch of pussies, think Chuck D of Public Enemy went on record against the PRMC, but as for the rest of them, I can't recall too many others who did. How little did I know about the windfall this bad ass attitude labeling would give any artist willing to swear, talk dirty, or just tell the government to fuck itself. The record labels made a killing and the artists as well, just work that anti-family, anti-parent, and anti-rule to the millionth degree, and next thing you know we've hit the motherlode, the easy money, time to buy that island in the South Seas, record my next album from there, not even tour, just keep on fucking bitches, slanging dope, gang bang, beat on the neighbors, set cars on fire and burn down Hollywood, Our Motto: Apocalypse Now.