Victims Family

Problems wash up on the beach and the tide never takes them back, this is what she thinks, might be right, but this general attitude rules her life, hidden in a decaying facade, a mask which has finally begun to crack from wear, like any ancient statue, glorified in its elegant antiquity, yet nothing more than spoils to the victors, time has worn away any sense of self, now there is only a motivation to exist in panic mode at the sign of crisis, turn the knife away, into any other being within stabbing distance, rage, violence, and hatred fuels her defenses to keep that self contained fragile state of mind from collapsing like the buildings of Haitian earthquakes. I don't even know what to say, after a life time of knowing this woman, surprised when she finally confided in me her totally, her addictive nature becoming a magnet for alcohol and gambling binging time to throw it all away, why care, no one will provide for her, a sanctuary for her sanity, a fortress around her heart, a legion for a call to arms for security. No, there is nothing left, not after all the marriages, the kids, the decades, the trends, good music and bad, the lack of sleep, the fights, the blurry boozed soaked career, left to wither, everything to die, a total removal of emotion. This was her reward for outlasting a society, much stronger, more intent on the complete destruction of the non citizen, the non human being, the anti robot, those not fortunate to inherit the social structure to know right from wrong and willingness to not fight against the current heirarchy, but embrace it like a long lost friend or long time passionate lover, no this woman would be offered no such grace, no benefit, left only to be mowed over into the twilight, another seed in the ground, to join the masses who live below in dust and mud with nothing more to occupy them than the burrowing worms seeking shelter and a brief bit of company with a bit intent to consume on her soon to cadaverous corpse.

If not already, droned, worn out, with no response, what does it matter now, she has realized this and is a few strands from letting everything fall apart for a quick trip to the asylum where she will be bathed and cared for like some leper, some invalid, no more bills, health care issues, or taxes, a ward of the state, so much like her own mother, orphaned in her youth from a band of crazed wanderers who spent more time in prison and the looney bin then in school, this was the mold from where she had been casted, free spending, unconcerned of consequence, bars became her education, her daycare, and mentor, though this woman did not fall prey to such temptations, the nature of libation became a mechanism of self defense, a way to ward off the spirits of culture, of natural selection, of having to care, this veil served as protection but in some ways aphyxiated her spiritual, personal, and social growth, soon enough she became an elderly woman who could no longer dream of tomorrow or even worry about today, but only think of how one day there would be no more sunshine, fear, need for wealth, suddenly everything would just end.