Columbus Gold

Stuck somewhere in the middle of wooden tree forest way past the outskirts of suburbia, an inlet, an island or oasis in its cheap flourencent glory. Not your typical strip club, in a not so typical town, not even a town but an outpost for degenerates like myself who need something to do on a Friday night when the local bar is not enough. Had Jerome with me, who has a reputation that cannot be doubted, an expert in the realm of young, single, and economically driven ladies who enjoy the concept of grinding their asses on cock for a living. So he had already attempted to scope out this spot but was intent on going to a much tamer spot, only to be talked out of it by the taxi driver, funnier still was his zest at the hotel, where he had not arrived only thirty minutes early from the airport where talk of doing some recon at a place called Cahoots was the order of the night, no other alternatives except some exploratory gash hounding, which in itself seems like the logical answer, have to get past the money thing, just throwing away a couple of hundred bucks, like watching an interactive movie, nudity, drama, and humor all thrown into one six hour night, so what does it matter, bank statements be damned.

All I had to do was get in the cab and get to the destination, then let things take their natural course. The ride took us to some middle of nowhere road that made me convinced our final destination might take us over the border into Canada, but thankfully that beacon of neon light revealed itself. No jackets, no guns or knives, so had to check those things in to the attractive young woman who must have been promoted to such a coat check position that had her on the front cover of the lastest Columbus Gold strip club 2010 calender, maybe she is screwing the boss, pimping the girls, getting a cut, felt like her finer days of stripping might be behind her, made some half ass promise about buying a calender, then having her sign it. Interior, standard, loose pink neon, mirrored walls with that clear seperation and distinction that gives you enough of a glimpse of all the half naked women on the other side of the door, where all the fun exists, just have to pay admission, bring some cash, and know what to say and not to say.

Grabbed a beer, ran into the feature dancer of the evening who commands more money than the rest of the ladies, now being the feature dancer in Columbus almost seemed ironic, I mean did she have a better boob job than the other women, she did, attractive blonde about five nine, could have been an business executive, did not fit the roll of mega XXX adult video starlet April Showers, as she had been billed as a woman who had been 300 sex videos, if you have seen a porno this woman had probably been in it according to the MC announcing her throughout the night, now April Showers was begginning to lose some of her luster, but why was I trying to fool myself that this woman was more than the prostitute the MC had made her out to be I almost felt ashamed later in the night that I had got with her, I mean she was a real fucking slut jeez, according to the MC, fuck it, she had a stint in Vegas which I had already figure, someone of her caliber probably had done sometime at Spearmint Rhino, she had the body, attitude, and charm of a professional who could empty the bank account of the most shrewd money hoarding guy with the most of vague promises concerning sex, so there goes the kids college fund and the retirement savings, she does not care, business is business, whether it is gambling, drugs, or sex. What you want a refund, you are funny, get the hell out of here, take those experiences, then head to rehab or to some sort of auto erotic finale.

I let her entertain me, not much of a feature especially by Vegas standard, routine cock rubber that is about it, even though she had more of a mind than most of them, but that is where the line between semi sexual obsession and career choice comes into play, she is getting paid to sit on guys faces for a living and if the money is right maybe fuck a one or two, that street gets dark fast, yet she seemed to have it under control. Jerome is off hiding in a corner after spotting a woman he has develop a sort of teenage youthful crush for, maybe he is holding back in hopes of not committing a series of felonies that would land us both in jail and the unemployment line, my thought is why fight the urge, if her final act includes going head first into the wood chipper then so be it, people act on such instinct and their are federal prisons for those types, maybe the streets, and at best a local tavern to work out on the road trash that filters through. After a bit of alcohol Jerome has been pinned down by a great mix of Cuban, Spanish, and African beauty of a woman, but somehow I get the bill for the services, a common theme throughout the night, might have had something to do with buying the woman a 20 dollar drink, what!, she got a cut, something to pass the time where she could sit down between putting her hand down my pants, mentioned South Beach and her in a thong bikini, something similar she was wearing, minus the pasties, it was like every woman in the place had nipple surgery, cracked me up, I ripped hers off after a while, this did not sit well with the local muscle inside the place, nothing but damn band aids, get off my case, these nipples must be liberated, all of them, women unite, do not fall victim to covered up nipples, my infant like instincts are coming to the forefront, need to suck and bite on those nipples, it is part of the deal, from my experiences at various strip clubs throughout the world.

Anyhow, Jerome is like a multi armed Shiva who appears to have the instinct of a sexual predator who cannot get enough pussy, as if he had just rolled of a 25 year stint in the slammer and is having his first contact with a woman. I find the entire event quite funny except for the bill, but Jerome provides countless entertainment in his white grey afro, glasses and general disposition of carnal knowledge that would make anyone from the Hellfire Club or Sex Addicts Anonymous envious, the DJ calls him Einstein, how thought provoking for a person who habitually falls asleep in his doorway at any given hotel, not to hold this over his head, but
Jerome is real A-Team material, he might shy away intinally, but get a few drinks in him and its like riding a bike, just hop back on and let the ladies come on down. No morals, standards, or ideals except to get his finger in as many twats as possible, he has a real sauve sort of flow being that middle aged guy with decades of experience in strip clubs, he knows what to say and what to do, once the deal goes down, infact he has looted every girl I have pulled down tonight, now some young 22 year old college student with an ass that would make frat boys run for cover, but those tuitions must get paid, we are near Ohio State University, so why not, let these ladies finance their future with some rub and tugs, this is how it goes for the masses who actually get let through the golden gate to higher education, who have somehow ditched all the pregancies, meth addictions, and abusive parents to sit a class of 800 students wondering is this really how I am supposed to get a corporate respectable job, hmmmm, maybe stripping for a living is not such a bad alternative, maybe not, in Ohio probably not, in Vegas, why not, gonna go insane living here anyway, where every guy treats you like a piece of meat, get something out of it, sure, sounds good, let it flow, let yourself go, slow and low that is the tempo.

Somehow I am taking Cuban stripper to Miami now, not Miami OH, but FLA, she used to live in SoBe, South Beach, I can see why, this woman is knockout, why she is at Columbus Gold tonight is something only she can answer, so have to go the Facebook route, which seems to be the new screening route for the ladies to determine whether or not a guy is creep, serial sociopath, or bankable, that last term comes via TMZ, the concept of being bankable make want to get wasted, this is what life has come down to, fuck all, nothing else matters, what does the wallet have in it, but why be jaded, just break out the cocaine and all of a sudden bankable turns into drug dependency, intercourse soon to follow, fine, everyone has their methods and their means so embrace the angle, the leverage and if it does not work then, move on to the next slab of vaginal slit, break it down my man, this is what life revolves around, a tough wire to walk, the pressure, rather travel the world, but who gives a fuck about that anymore, so here I am in this low rent strip club doing time, covering the event, keeping an eye on Jerome, making sure he gets back to the hotel.

Every half an hour they have a revue, a parade of sorts where they put on some cheesy Jock Jams like music then send the girls out in their best gear, like college cheerleaders, not the real cheerleaders, but the girls who are hot enough but not athletic enough be the real skirt wearing cheerleaders, so they doll them up in the tightest fitting clothes possible, of which I am a big fan, locally we have the Rebel Girls who have been of much debate of the years where Cocaine had gone out of fancy and they have seem to take up buffets and alcoholism, since the days where myself and my friends who go to the games have graduated, no more Coked out teenage girls shaking their tight pussies for the degenerates in the student section who were hatching plans of how to get them wasted enough at fraternity parties, hit it, then laugh about it with their friends at the next game, quite a life indeed. The strip club appears to have hit a wall, plenty of pussy face plants on the stage, if only for effect, cause the dude laid on the stage face up, for a buck or two he got more action from April Showers than I did, so now I had to digest that entire experience of taking money and throwing it away, but I look at it sort of as an investment in April Showers Inc. who knows when that hooker will roll through Vegas, they always need a place to stay and my new condo would make the appropriate hideout, for mere trade, skin trade, sounds like a winner to me, so off goes April showers in her Little Bo Peep outfit, meanwhile the 22 year old white girl has scared Jerome away, he is intimidated, starts running for a corner in the back of the club, what is this. his ceramonial ritual of cut and run, then slowly crawl back to the fire put his finger in it and see how long he can keep it against the flame, well don't be a sissy about it, so I have to grab him by the shoulders and sit him down in a chair so Danille can rub her pussy in his face.

Most of the girls are without boob jobs which seems so unfamilar, almost like being in high school again, it has my interest, especially in a society where most high end strippers and low end strippers have boob jobs, standard operating procedure today, except here, so it has its angle, its fun, like Tijuana high school weekend, when it was fresh and not so water down like tonight has become, but I am nothing more than part of Jerome's fan club, it is quite a large one, in a business where all my elders are rock stars, so quitting is not an option, duty must be adhered, then followed, but time to get out of here, find my claim check at the bottom of the bar, then watch Jerome get bounced when Danille offers up her pussy for a quick tongue cleaning, Jerome is one to oblige which gets our coats turned up a bit faster than normal, he is snoring in the cab within minutes, I get him to his room, paying my dues to my heroes, my inspiration, the line he walks his one of fire, no fear, and embraces our impending mortality, something we should all aspire to follow.