Kid Rock

Finally got back into the video music melee, more of the fast paced no breaks attempting to stuff eighty pounds of shit into a twelve ounce boxing glove. The Fulcos are a brother and sister duo whose parents play background instruments as the kids parade around with all the fevor of such Disney tweenie rock icons Hanna Montana and the Jonas Brothers, only knowing by parody as made by the general media and the show South Park, I sort of had to put the pieces together in order to fully understand the teenage desire to be socially acceptable in an era of anti cool misunderstood artists whose main problems were figuring out what clothes to buy and how to accent their bedding. Of course, there are always parents driving the kids head first in their attempt at stardom and the build up I was given over the phone while mulling over the decision to take the gig or not felt something like a promotional build up one might here on the radio, a steriod fill commerical of deep voices and loud electric rock, coke induced babble teetering on a near stroke or at least blackout. I took the job it was something to do, did not really have any idea what was going to happen, just put it out of mind, could always walk away if things became so ridiculous that my well tuned intuition knew that the video music shoot would only end up in a fatal disaster.

Watching the two kids dance around while lip synching to the music track as well as playing their instruments was not all that bad, but the tweenie extras, about thirty of them who came to play as an audience, sent the shoot into the realm of the absurd. The director was already in dismay from the idea of having to deal with thirty unmanagable kids who had trouble enough pay attention, standing still, and fending off boredom, giving these children verbal cues to follow in order to mimic a concert audience did not seem possible, probably easier to set up an impromptu spelling bee, but the director went ahead anyway, jumping around, yelling, then screaming with more energy than the rest of kids combined, he was not pleased with their effort and general desire to do the opposite of whatever the director dictated, maybe the authority roll was part of the problem, so he got down about eye level to the group then became uber animated, like a cartoon character on anphetamine, this did the trick, the kids began to giggle then belly laugh, the director had made a connection turning the event into a game, something the kids felt no pressure in performing, from that point the tweenies did their part, practically falling over themselves screaming, dancing, and over acting to the point of Japanese game show humor.

While shooting on location with a single camera as opposed to live television, things always take longer, the crew is always smaller, and the expectations to do anything reign supreme, fetching water, setting up chairs, and taping up black drape from the front of the music sound stage are things reserved from newbies to the industry, yet this artistical collective effort would have none the amenities I so covet when working on big budget shows. Everything from the meals, breaks, what breaks?, to the equipment itself only lends to the general frustration of dealing with having to do too much with too little. I had to laugh a bit watching the lead singer, a girl of probably no more than 15 strut around, in the words of the director, like Joan Jett. Big laughs with that comment, this girl already weighed more than Joan and I imagine a 30 min conversation between Jett and this girl would have the girl turning hard core lesbo or running, hair on fire for the nearest convent. The pedestal the general public puts on what I do for a living never ceases to amaze. I have a dream job of sorts, creating viewing content for the dreamers of society who want the limelight, the fame, and lifestyle that comes with it, guess my job offers some sort of conduit to enlightenment in the brief glimpse most people get when they watch a production in action, it is a lot of work and almost anyone believes they can do it, if you like taking shit with a smile, getting yelled at then running yourself into the ground over 15hrs, then it's your kind of business, not for many, maybe those too stubborn, too caught up in their own personal fantasies of notariety endure the pain, either way it is fast track work, living, and lifestyle, becomes addictive, not really a rock star, but not really a garbage man either, depending on the production of course.

Well the twelve teens have started a fan club in my honor and to be hit on by some 13 yr old is classic. You kidding me? come back in five years, jeez my daughter and son are older than you, as the girls give me dreamy eyes talking to me about my job as they both twist their hair around their fingers attempting to absorb the glamour of entertainment. Well the build up for this band that really did not add up to more than some parents as well as family members looking generate the next American Idol, it was painful to watch the two kids dance around then try to connect with the small crowd of tweenies at their feet, things were beginning to feel forced, I just stood back and took in the scene while the director ran around a crazed stir motivating the entire group to find that flair reserved for such glam rock greats as Motley Crue and Poison, had I gone back to the 80's, the boy had the Tom Cruise 80's haircut, where was the Members Only jacket, while all the bangles, spandex pants, and glittered shirt worn by the older sister brought back horrible flashbacks of Debbie Gibson and Tiffany during their mall tour peak.

After the soundstage shooting we eventually ended up at the Fulco family's house. The dad was one of prototypical blues rockers in the 80's who had pictures all around the house of the famous people he had played with over the years, framed albums as well as cd's from bands he had been part of, as well as Beatles memorabilia. There was also an assortment of bass guitars, guitars, and a small studio set up in the living room, these family was all about rock and roll, have to give them that, the Beastie Boys poster was a nice touch, trying to get on my good side. The entire family along with a group of older teens had gathered as talent for another part of the video which was something about, the brother and sister being stuck at home doing chores, then having to go to bed while all the cool kids walked by her house, mocked her, then carried on with the ladder to success of binge drinking, experiemtal sex, and low grade marijauna. Why do these 15 year old girls persist in trying to lay the mack on me, want to know my name, what I do, please, maybe it's that age, the hormones kick in and the father figure thing starts, not sure, cause for a second these girls would give you that look which gets honed over the years, the I want you look, forget it, funny though, back to the family, great picture of the father, sort of a collage of pixs during his younger 20's as a body builder sporting the cowboy style mullet, his kids liked him though, cause they all had old pixs of him in their rooms, nostalgic stuff, so he had to be a good guy, but the printed sheets with all those positive reinforcement mantras you might find in Chicken Soup for the Soul or some other book on Oprah's book of the month club, made the parents look a bit hypocritcal, John Lennon and new age philosophy are probably closer than I give credit but could not make the connection, more like not willing to make the connection, just something with all those ideas, words, and isms that makes me do just the opposite, maybe that is why I ignore my desire to go public with my life, but doing what I do for a living has taught me plenty about public figures and the hoops they have to jump through in order to go out for something as routine as dinner.

Now I am the moving man, have to clear a bed out of the older sisters room to do a composition shot where the room explodes into rock and roll hoochie koo, it is a good experience, seeing how the director of photography has to frame the shot a certain way in order to insert the effects later on in post that is why I am here to learn these kind of things, the rest has been routine for sure, as we move the top half of the bed out pops a dairy, glad to see there are some things still relavent to kid from the time when I was one, feels like they are already adults by the time they reach eight, so as the two kids did their best Disney sitcom flow, I had to smile, I wanted to laugh, at times, tell them they are going about things the wrong way, turn from this pop fodder fiasco, but it was too late, so many people had already invested a ton of time and money into these kids therefore the result must bare out some sort of reward, whether it was music, tv, or both, these poster children of the 21st had their role, the younger brother played bass, so I showed him how to play Lou Reed's Walk on the Wild Side, both kids laughed uncontrollably when they recognized the intro to the song, there was still hope for them yet.