Safely here in my little eight by eight cubicle, they finally put a door on the room when they figured out I was truly determined to stay, the entire first week of my stay here, the powers that be left the door off of the room, reason, not stated, but possibly implied, go ahead, get out of here, you really don't want to go through with this detoxification, voluntary removal from party machine, wouldn't you much rather be under the lights, banging some pussy, or snorting synethetic chemical up your nose, why pass on the opportunity, the fun won't last forever, ride it out until the next crash.
I still could not talk myself out of taking a break, getting away from all the four am, five am, six am and longer nights into mornings that had been piling up so frequently in the past year, it was as if I had been living two different lives, completely independent from each other, one persona neatly tucked away as the other took precedent, from half sober to half crazy in a matter of hours and the days afterward ended up in nothing more than a struggle to stay out of the mad house, hospital, or face down in the gutter, where has all this excessive behavior and activity led me
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